The Past

Today an old friend of Tee's came into town and we've spent the afternoon talking and revisiting some things. Mostly the death of Trina's Mom and all that has happened with her family in the past years. It's been bittersweet. It's sweet because I have such a love for Tee that I want her to connect with her past. It's been hard for her to trust and be social and I love meeting her friends and seeing her be social again. Bitter because it's bringing up a bit of grief that I haven't felt in awhile and I realized I miss Tee's Mom and haven't allowed myself to feel that. We watched some old video tapes and just hearing her voice made me cry. Crying is a good release. It's ok to miss our loved ones that have passed away, it's just not good to stay there too long. I don't want to give into the misery that can consume me and so I won't. They are gone to a meeting and I am home alone with the fur babies and life is so sweet and good. Tonight we will eat homemade tamales and chips with salsa and talk some more. Tee's friend told me that I am one of the sweetest people she has ever met and that she is so happy that Tee has found the love she deserves. That made my heart swell. I am truly lucky and happy to be living this life. I miss the kids and hope they come up for my birthday. They have been talking about it and I got the time off from work so it would be amazing to have my family all here under one roof again. I'm realizing how important it is to make those memories and spend those times together, you never know how much time you have.