Renewal

Today was a gorgeous day. The weather was warm and I woke up feeling energetic and much loved  I woke up Trina and we went and picked up some breakfast and then went down to the lake to eat it. The weather was just cool enough to wear long sleeves and just warm enough to enjoy. We watched the lake and counted our blessings. We are truly lucky.

We found each other again after a lot of heartache and it was in May of last year that we went down to the beach in the dark of the night and pledged our love to each other once more. Oh, we’ve done this before, being together for 16 years we had many moments that I cherish in my heart but this time it was different. We thought we had lost the love we had and I guess in a way we did. We started again in a new and more solid place and we appreciate it so much more now.

When you don’t communicate, the little things build and then they fester inside, threatening any kind of love that you have for each other. We had gone through so much grief and loss that we were both too afraid to say what was real, too afraid to allow ourselves to feel anymore. I am a deeply emotional person, water sign that I am and I need to express my feelings regularly. I had given that up and was instead focusing on my physical body and external issues that were taking up my time and energy. We allowed the love we had to stagnate and we took so much for granted.

This time around we are not taking anything for granted. We are appreciating each and every moment we have together; at least we did this morning. We spent some time reflecting and relaxing and enjoying the quiet companionship that we have always had. We watched the sun dance on the water and listened to the sounds around us. All I could see was her face and all I wanted to do was be there with her in that moment. I love that my mind was still and yet my heart was racing. She can still send me reeling and make me feel the excitement I felt in the very beginning. It’s real and it’s not going anywhere, this love we are so blessed with. I just want to stay with that longer. I don’t want to accept that I have to break the spell and go back into the work world once again. I am sad and angry that it has to end.

I just look forward to next week when we can enjoy our time together once again. We will carve out time and spend moments just enjoying each other the way we did for these past few days. Life is such a gift and so is love.