Somebody said something today that was profound. She said that you have to learn to have good judgment. The way you learn how to make good decisions is to make a lot of bad ones. It's so true. I have made many decisions that were not good but they were the ones I learned to most from. How lucky I feel to be able to see this in my life today. I am sure my judgment has improved as a direct result of having poor judgment. I know this to be truth.
I have this job interview tomorrow and I'm concerned about a question he may or may not ask me that could affect whether or not he hires me. Now I have no control over what questions he asks, all I have control over is how I answer them. I made some bad choices back in 2000 and although I am at a completely different place in my life today, I could still have to answer for those choices. I have to remember I am not in charge of everything. I am not in charge of whether or not I get this job. It would help us a lot financially but we will be fine if I don't get it too. We always are.
My brother called me and we chatted for over an hour. I caught him up on what's happened in my life in the past 6 months and let me tell you it was a LOT! He never judges me, he just loves me. He loves me unconditionally just like my sister does. It is such a gift in my life to have siblings that love me so unconditionally. I love them too. We don't have parents, all we have is each other. It's something I treasure immensely. I love him dearly. I miss him a lot. It was wonderful to catch up with him.
I finished the letter to my daughter. I was sitting in Hastings yesterday and I finished it. I also finished a story I've been working on. I may or may not post it here. It's really interesting, at least to me. I have to edit and then type it up. I'm excited that I have two stories that I've written this year. It's been many years since I wrote anything fiction. I am impressed with myself that I followed through. I love writing and am grateful to have been so inspired in 2011. I am happy I have found my muse again.
I have the rest of the afternoon to myself and that feels great. I thought I may go for a run but the wind is blowing too hard and I don't want to run in it. I will do it tomorrow. I went to my meeting this morning and then cleaned one of the offices that I do. I love that I am working. It makes me feel part of the world. I pick up my first paycheck tomorrow. Go me!~! I love my life. I truly do. I have made some bad decisions but they have made me who I am. I don't know if I can even call them bad decisions since they have taught me many things. I don't regret the people I've had in my life at all. I only regret the hurts I have inflicted on people. Those have been my worst choices of all and since I can't go back and change it, I can only focus on making it right today.
I do not regret loving as hard as I have loved.
No regrets there at all. How can love ever be wrong? I don't believe it can.