Saturday, June 11, 2011

Decisions

Somebody said something today that was profound. She said that you have to learn to have good judgment. The way you learn how to make good decisions is to make a lot of bad ones. It's so true. I have made many decisions that were not good but they were the ones I learned to most from. How lucky I feel to be able to see this in my life today. I am sure my judgment has improved as a direct result of having poor judgment. I know this to be truth.

I have this job interview tomorrow and I'm concerned about a question he may or may not ask me that could affect whether or not he hires me. Now I have no control over what questions he asks, all I have control over is how I answer them. I made some bad choices back in 2000 and although I am at a completely different place in my life today, I could still have to answer for those choices. I have to remember I am not in charge of everything. I am not in charge of whether or not I get this job. It would help us a lot financially but we will be fine if I don't get it too. We always are.

My brother called me and we chatted for over an hour. I caught him up on what's happened in my life in the past 6 months and let me tell you it was a LOT! He never judges me, he just loves me. He loves me unconditionally just like my sister does. It is such a gift in my life to have siblings that love me so unconditionally. I love them too. We don't have parents, all we have is each other. It's something I treasure immensely. I love him dearly. I miss him a lot. It was wonderful to catch up with him.

I finished the letter to my daughter. I was sitting in Hastings yesterday and I finished it. I also finished a story I've been working on. I may or may not post it here. It's really interesting, at least to me. I have to edit and then type it up. I'm excited that I have two stories that I've written this year. It's been many years since I wrote anything fiction. I am impressed with myself that I followed through. I love writing and am grateful to have been so inspired in 2011. I am happy I have found my muse again.

I have the rest of the afternoon to myself and that feels great. I thought I may go for a run but the wind is blowing too hard and I don't want to run in it. I will do it tomorrow. I went to my meeting this morning and then cleaned one of the offices that I do. I love that I am working. It makes me feel part of the world. I pick up my first paycheck tomorrow. Go me!~! I love my life. I truly do. I have made some bad decisions but they have made me who I am. I don't know if I can even call them bad decisions since they have taught me many things. I don't regret the people I've had in my life at all. I only regret the hurts I have inflicted on people. Those have been my worst choices of all and since I can't go back and change it, I can only focus on making it right today.

I do not regret loving as hard as I have loved.
No regrets there at all. How can love ever be wrong? I don't believe it can.

6 comments:

Dorrie said...

we ALL make bad decisions and we often (not always) learn from them. Boy, have I made some goodies (eh, badies? lol)!

Anyway, honesty is/was always the best policy. If you can answer by saying "in my former life", maybe that would help?

Good luck with the interview!

maggsworld said...

It is part of being human to learn by oft times trial and error. Your reflection is a good thing, recognising what is ours to control is a good lesson ( and hard learned) but be as kind to yourself as you are to others. I am thinking of you as you face this next interview and hav toes and fingers crossed. You have added understanding and kindness to my personal journey - not all you add is erronious ;). Love you. Maggs

Dani said...

Go you is right! Sorry I haven't been around to read what has been happening. Glad to hear you wrote her a letter.
xoxo

becomingkate said...

I have had to lie at job interviews a few times. Only once, for the insurance job, did they run a check. I still won the position, but it was embarassing.
For the job I'm at now, I explained the charge AFTER I was hired and it was fine. It was in 1988, and most of my managers are younger than me now and think of it as OLD history!

greeneyes67 said...

The interview was a huge smashing success and he loved me. I had no need to worry. I'll know if I'm hired by 5:30 tomorrow night. So excited.

Fijufic said...

Better to make a bad decision than no decision at all...