I will have three busy mornings in a row. Woo Hoo! I think maybe part of my sadness lately is not having anything to look forward to in the immediate future. I am working on that.
I will be back in school in less than 6 months so I do have that to look forward to. I have to meet with an advisor really soon. I just need to set up the appointment.
Not much to write about really. It's March. The last time I saw my Dad was in March of last year and I think that's affecting me. I seem to be out of touch with my feelings again. I have been eating unhealthy again and though I haven't gained any weight, my emotional fitness seems to be suffering. I am close to tears a lot more than usual. I miss my Dad.
I also miss my kids and my sister. I don't know when these death anniversaries get any better. I am also really tired of having to handle them on my own. I can't turn to the person I love the most in this world because she is not available to me at all right now. There is all this distance and it is very hurtful and frustrating. When I try to talk about it I get told "It's all in my head". Which doesn't help me with the sanity factor.
I am working on step two. Came to Believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to Sanity. So I've been looking at the insanity in my life. Yes, there are a lot of insane things about it. My own actions have been insane many many times. I know I can't take care of all of this alone. I just don't have the faith I used to in a Higher Power. I just seem to have lost it. I can give it lip service but in my heart it just isn't there.
I am also struggling with my workouts. I do them but it is taking longer and longer to be motivated to do them. I think it's because of all the emotional turmoil I am in.
OK, I need to get moving this morning. I have a lot to do. Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday..