Anniversaries

I wonder who came up with the idea of celebrating or remembering anniversaries? Those significant dates that make a mark on your heart and cause your body to react when they approach. I know that we have many anniversary dates marking the deaths of loved ones and that when they start getting close, our bodies react. I will be moving along, working and doing life and then I get sad. When I look at the calendar I realize, another anniversary is near and that is why I am feeling this impending doom and gloom approaching.

Today marks 5 years since Trina's Mom passed away. It was one of the most horrible times of our lives together and I can't even bring myself to think of the details. But the dead do not want us to forget them, they love when we remember them. I loved her, she was an angel to me when my own Mom passed away. We would talk for hours on the phone and she would pray with me to get me to stop the hysterical crying that accompanied my grief over losing my Mom. She was the only one that could make me feel better when that happened. I miss her. I miss her presence but I can still feel her. Especially this year.

So today, I will work on a few things I need to get done and then, when I can I will remember her life and love.

Wednesday is my new Sunday

We spent the day together and it was lovely. We sorted laundry and took our bi-weekly trip to the laundry mat to wash the clothes, then lugged them home and began drying them. It doesn't sound like much, but when you don't get to spend much time together, every moment counts. We always browse the classifieds while we are waiting for the clothes to be washed. We look at the prices on washers, discuss getting a new one as well as a new stove and furniture. Then we may talk about articles in magazines, what to eat for dinner, and how we are feeling. It doesn't take long until the clothes are finished washing and then we either pick up something for lunch or come home and fix it together. These little things mean a lot to me now. I used to pride myself on not needing to have my partner with me every moment of every day, now I cherish the closeness.

After eating, we hopped back in bed to snuggle and watch "The Crucible" which made us both cry. What a great movie. I read the book years ago, and saw the play, but the movie was fantastic. I loved Daniel Day Lewis and thought he played John Proctor very well. I dozed off a few times but not for long.

I want to post some pictures that I didn't get around to posting from our holidays. I really enjoyed our Christmas but am looking forward to the next holiday which is my favorite, Valentines Day. And then of course it is our 16th anniversary together and that deserves a major celebration.

Christmas morning. We opened our presents and then had a lovely breakfast together. It was so nice to be appreciative of each moment we had that morning. We have spent more than enough of our time rushing through things. Not anymore.

Trina and Katie. I love this shot of them.

Christmas chaos. Shanda threatened me with bodily harm if I posted this on facebook. She is pretty self conscious about photos of herself. I think she is beautiful.

Trina and Shanda. Trina is trying to get her helicopter off the ground. They finally went outside to play with it. It was a lot of fun to watch and take pictures :) I love my family.
It was a great holiday season. New Years was quiet, we were probably asleep by 12:15 but we were both exhausted from work. I'm so happy to be starting a new year and making new memories. Life is Beautiful.

Unexpected

I feel a lot different today than I did yesterday. If you read my last entry and read between the lines you will know what I mean. If you don't then it's not important.

Unexpected changes happen all the time. You try to be prepared for them, or I do anyway.. It still takes me off guard though.

I never did post pictures from Valentines Day. We baked cookies and decorated them and it was a great day full of laughs and love.


The cookies before we frosted them. Some of them were dark around the edges. Also I lost my heart shaped cookie cutter in the move so we just made them round but they were filled with love anyway :)


We didn't have red food coloring for the frosting but we had red jelly beans. I thought if I put them in the microwave and melted them we could dye to frosting red but it didn't work. It just made it kind of orange looking. I thought it was a genius idea anyway ;)


Prada wanted to help with the decorating!! Awwwwwww......


She really just wanted to nibble.


The finished product! We're still eating them. Of course the day wouldn't be complete without Tee doing something silly. She made a perverted cookie just for her.. lol


It was a good day. Good memories. Those are the times that get you through the challenging times right?

I am grateful for

1. My daughter and the love she gives me unconditionally.
2. My friends and their support and love.
3. My Xena Blu and her constant attention.
4. My sister and the close relationship we have today.
5. Having a Higher Power that I can rely on every minute of every day.
6. Being back in Alanon.
7. My laptop and the constant connection it gives me to loved ones.
8. Long baths with a good book.
9. Tae Bo!!!
10. Beautiful Sunsets and the Havasu weather right now.

Tonight 2-26-09

A week? Really???

I let a week pass me by and didn't write here. Wow. It's been awhile since that's happened I think. How's everything in your worlds?

Mine is freakin' fantastic. I feel amazing. Truly blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I am still busy with my life and it seems that spring is upon us here in Lake Havasu City. Yesterday we worked in the front yard. Well, actually Tee did most of the work because I was not as into it as she was but I did pull some weeds and talk to her.

I know it's dangerous to be so happy because she is sober but I am. I am so happy to have her back I can't even begin to express it. She is feeling good and that makes me feel really good. That said, I am very aware of this slippery slope and I'm building a strong foundation in Alanon for myself so that I can have something to fall back on if she relapses again. It's been two months and I really feel like she is back. It's a beautiful thing to have my best friend back in my life again. I feel like we were separated for so long. So that my friends is why I have been absent from the computer.

I went to an all day workshop on Saturday in Kingman, AZ and it was really a lot of fun. I made some new friends and they are wonderful. They did tell me it's time for me to get out and explore the town since I've been here 6 months. I realize this. I know we have become so safe in this little cocoon we have built and it's time to venture out. So I've been thinking of joining some kind of fitness club, like hiking or kayaking or something. Just thinking about it so far.

I've not lost any more weight but I'm holding steady which is just as good for me. I am still doing Tae Bo 6 days a week and strength training 3 days. My arms are getting so lean and strong and my legs and waist have shrunk considerably. I have also added some walking and light jogging to my routine. Xena is loving it. And the streets are so hilly here that it's a great workout for my hips and legs. I am getting sideaches though. I haven't run in a really long time. I want to start running again. Like real laps around the track.

I can't believe the role nutrition plays in our health. I have had the most horrendous eating habits for most of my life. This journey is an exciting one. Learning that I eat out of emotional distress. That "that time of the month" induces horrible cravings in me. That water is fantastic!!! That taking vitamins is really good for your nails and hair and bones. I really do feel better than I ever have. And I'm almost 42 years old. It's about time.

I haven't been taking many pictures. I need to get some more. We have more work to do on the back yard now. Lots of plants that need tending. All the rain brought many weeds that need pulled too. And the lemon tree should be producing fruit soon. All the birds around us are getting ready to have their babies. It's so fun to watch them.

One of Grandma's best friends came over yesterday to see us and it was good to see her. She loved all the changes Tee has made to the house. She was worried about us because she hasn't heard from us in so long. We made a vow to stay more in touch with her. Sweet lady.

We also are planning a boat trip across the river to have lunch and spend some time. This is a big outing for us. And a step in the right direction. No word on the job front for Tee but the mortgage is covered for March at least. We are taking it one day at a time and it will all work out. No sense in wasting energy on worry. Life is good. All is well.

I hope to be able to get around to all of your blogs soon. I think of you often and hope all is well in your worlds. Hope you have an amazing Wednesday. I am out the door to my Alanon meeting in about 20 minutes. Talk to you soon :)

Quiet Sunday Morning

I am enjoying the morning. It's quiet in here. No TV, the only sounds are my own. I like that. It's my time. I read my meditation book and it was on letting go. That's always been a hard one for me. Once I'm friends with someone I have a hard time letting go. Or else I just shut myself off completely. It's always one extreme or the other. I am trying to find a balance.

This picture is of my brother and I back in October. His 38th birthday is today!! It really makes me feel old now that my siblings are approaching 40. I am the oldest so you'd think I'd feel that way already but I haven't. I can't believe my little brother is getting up there with me! I am so proud of him. He teaches English at a high school in Phoenix. He has been sober for two years already!!! What an amazing gift recovery is.

You see all the fat around my middle in that picture? It's gone now. Almost completely. I was about 12 pounds heavier there. I seem to have gained just in my midsection this time around. Some in my arms and face too. Well, I am not sad to see that go. Actually this picture is what made me see how fat I was getting. I looked at it and said "That is not what I look like"!!! My brother goes "UH, yes that is you!" Thanks a lot little brother!! lol

It made me get off my butt and start doing something though. I can't let myself get in the danger zone. There is too much obesity in my family.. I have to start getting healthy now. So that's what I'm doing.

I did work out yesterday and it hurt like hell too! Today I am resting my muscles. I think we'll probably watch football. The Cardinals won last night! Woo Hoo! We kicked their butts 33 to 13. It was an amazing game. Go CARDINALS!!! Superbowl bound for sure :)

Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday...

Saturday Morning!!

Wow, I woke up late today. We stayed up watching movies last night. I wasn't on here much yesterday because I finally got my Sims installed. Now I'm addicted again!! lol

I drank so much water yesterday I thought I would float away. And I cut WAY back on my sodium intake. The result? I dropped 2 and a half pounds! Yay!! Now if I could just stay at this weight for at least a week it would stick. I am only 11 1/2 pounds away from my goal weight. That is exciting news for me. It is definitely showing. In my waistline especially.

Today is the anniversary to Tee's Mom's death. 2 years. I can't believe it went by so fast. I feel great today, T. not so much. But life goes on. We have to keep moving forward. I'm tired of living in the past. It's a new day.

So, I need to get off the computer and do my workout. I am procrastinating by being here. It's so hard to exercise sometimes. I have to force myself but I always feel better afterward. Hope you all have a great Saturday. I'll try to get by and visit you guys today. I didn't make it around much yesterday.

No Sims for me until I make my visits and exercise. That's the plan...

Getting the Hang of This

My daughter with her new John Lennon poster at Christmas.

Well, I'm getting the hang of this place and I like it! I miss the homepage but I'll deal.

I joined Facebook last night and it's pretty cool too! I love their homepage. Makes me feel like I'm on Journalspace kinda. I have found some of my old friends already from JS and in life. Awesome.

I am resting from my workout right now. Whew! Doing good, lost another half pound yesterday. Hope it wasn't just water weight.

Forest asked about my sister so I thought I'd write about her for a minute. She is recovering well from her surgery but her marriage is another story. It's been rocky since the moment she found out and we have both been talking to each other a lot for support. They took a trip to Vegas for New Years which is also her wedding anniversary. He quit his job and has not made any contact with the woman he cheated with (as far as she knows). She wants to work it out so we are all being supportive but I can't help but be a little angry at him for breaking my little sisters heart.

It's hard for her. It's so much betrayal but she is really being strong. Working on herself. She has lost a ton of weight because of the stress but she knows she needed to anyway. We have been talking about taking a trip to WVA this summer to see my Dad's family. My brother wants to go too. I think it would be really cool.

OK, time to read some blogs and get moving around here. Hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday...