Monday, February 9, 2009

Dependability and Lists

This morning, after I woke up I went outside for a moment so the dog could do her business and looked out at the lake. The moon was still shining proudly over the mountains as the sun came up in the other direction. I've never experienced this before.

There are still many clouds in the sky but they are fading. It's cold and windy today. Cold to us is not cold to many others but it's still cold. It's below 50 degrees. I pulled my robe tighter around me and smiled at the moon. So beautiful, so powerful and so full..

I couldn't help but think of the moon and how much I love to feel the power of the moon. So dependable, always rising and changing without my having to do anything. It just is. There have not been many things or people in my life that have been as dependable.

I always prided myself on being dependable at work. I was at my last position for 8 years and only called in sick twice. I was always there. If my staff called in I was there to replace them. If anyone needed anything I was there. It is just my nature to be this way.

Creature of habit. That would be me. I like things to stay the same and I don't like surprises. I like to have a plan and for everything else to follow that plan. Life just isn't that way. In my love relationships I seem to choose people that go with the flow, that are more spontaneous than I am.

This is the first time in my adult life I don't have a plan. Oh, I have a tentative plan in the background, I am going back to school in August but as for the months in between there is nothing. I do have Alanon. I took the treasurer position for my Wednesday meeting so I have to be there every Wednesday morning without fail. I have been exercising 6 days a week and I force myself to do it. I am entering every calorie I eat into my nutrition journal and I do that faithfully. That's my big agenda for my life right now.

But what of everything in between? I just kind of let my days happen to me. I miss having a plan. I know we have things we have to get done but I haven't been taking many action steps to make them happen.

I was thinking of making a list each night of the things I want to accomplish the next day. That could work. If I could think of things to put on the list. Small goals to get done each day.

I am a little bit stuck in a rut. I am committed to taking charge of my destiny today and not just letting life happen to me. I am off to make that list now..

16 comments:

Dorrie said...

wasn't that moon lovely this morning? I just checked the calendar and it's not supposed to ab a full moon right now but a new moon. I woke up to it's light shining through my bedroom window and it was still there when I drove off to work.

In 13 yrs at my job I think I called in sick perhaps 4 times. Like you, I'm dependable and always there willing to help. Unfortunately those are traits that often don't get appreciated.

Otherwise, I DO like change. If I had the chance, I'd change my job tomorrow... or move somewhere else... it wouldn't bother me (IF conditions were right, of course).

Enjoy your time with no plan... that could change at any time.

Xanadu said...

I just noticed in my datebook that the Full Moon is tonight. I also saw it this morning, and it was beautiful. It's still dark when I leave for work.

I'm like you...dependable. I've been at my job 22 1/2 yrs., and the rare occasions I have called in sick, I have used them as vacation days. Ralph, on the other hand, missed 21 days of work last year. Not a typo. 21 days. I'm the diabetic, but he's sick all the frickin' time. lol.

I like having a plan. I need order in my life. (I'm borderline OCD) You and I sound alot alike. Have a great Monday. Hugs.

Dorrie said...

oops, right... it IS a full moon! my kalendar had the symbols backwards heehee

greeneyes67 said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that enjoyed that moon this morning! It was so beautiful. I know you're right Dorrie, it could change at any time.. I'm not taking it for granted.

Xanadu: We do sound a lot alike!! I wish sometimes I could relax. I often feel like I'm not doing enough..

Fijufic said...

Make a plan just so that you will feel like you have some short term goals while you are transitioning...

greeneyes67 said...

I think you're right Bobby. I need a plan... I'm thinking about it.

Country-Girl said...

The moon was so pretty yesterday/last night. I saw it during the daytime, which was really strange, but really cool too. :-) I too love the moon. :-)


I have to agree with Bobby, it works. :-)


Love ya!

greeneyes67 said...

It was interesting to see the moon so clearly this morning. First time I've seen that. Put me in a goal oriented mood... Love you too CG!

Cin said...

It sounds beautiful and it also sounds like things are going well for you:) I have to make lists everyday and check them off.I am working on a weight loss,improvement plan and I have to keep track cause its so much to remember.My problem is eating after 7 pm,thats when I do my watch tv snacking and that is the hardest thing to break!

becomingkate said...

Jamie recently decided to add childcare to her list of things she should be doing PT. One woman offered her $150/week for three mornings and she can put that towards school.
Have you ever considered starting a concierge business? A friend of mine does it. She visits elderly and takes them for coffee or to the Dr, she helps busy working women run errands, she looks after people's homes when they're on vacation, walks dogs, cuts grass, basically, whatever anyone needs. She makes enough to support herself and her daughter.
You seem like the type that could make a go of a business like that.

A Magpie's Nest of Treasures said...

I am dependable, too, and do like my routines. *grinning* It was overcast here last night- no moon to see, dangit!

greeneyes67 said...

Kate: I've thought of that actually. There is a huge senior citizen population here. I think I could do it too. It could be interesting :)

Pamela said...

Making a list is a great idea. I use that to help me accomplish things all the time. First, I pretend I'm the boss and make the list...then I pretend that I'm the secretary and do everything on the list, lol.

I have such a nice boss, and a great secretary. Hahaha!

greeneyes67 said...

Ha!! I have a cool boss too :) My secretary needs some help...

Doug said...

I have had a few days off over time, but only when I could absolutely not stand up without vomiting :-)

I got to see the moon last night and this morning. I'm glad I did, because our sky has clouded over now.

greeneyes67 said...

Gorgeous Moon wasn't she Doug? I just loved that I got to experience it this cycle.